- Respond calmly
Respond to the situation calmly and without your own anger — adults may need quiet time too. If your child's behavior has made you angry, take a few minutes to calm down before deciding how to respond. - Teach alternate behaviors.
Teach your child alternate and more socially appropriate ways of expressing what he wants or needs. For example, if your child fights over sharing toys with friends or siblings, teach him how to ask to borrow ("Can I play with your puzzle for a little while?") and trade ("If I loan you my book, can I play with your puzzle?") - Offer choices.
Offer choices and opportunities for your child to have more control over her environment. For example, if your child is a fussy eater, ask her what she'd like to eat, provide her with one or two options ("Would you like a peanut-butter or tuna-fish sandwich?"), or make her part of the planning("Why don't you help me cook dinner/pick out groceries?"). - Notice the positive.
Notice positive behavior when it occurs and provide genuine praise. For example, "That was very nice of you to let your brother play with your toy." Noticing your child when she is using positive behavior lets her know that you respect her. - Be consistent.
Make sure there are consistent and predictable routines. "We wash our face, brush our teeth, and put on our pajamas every night before we go to bed." Make sure that you are consistent in what you ask and that you follow through on what you say. If you say “you can watch TV after you finish cleaning up” make sure there is enough time for this to happen. - Have fun.
Make sure there is joy and fun in your child's life every day. Many parents find it helpful to play with their children before they have to do housework or errands. Think of what brings a smile to your child's face and make time each day to smile together. - Focus on what to do.
Count the number of times you start a sentence “No don’t…” Children hear it so often they quickly start to ignore it. Instead try to focus on the action you want, “stop throwing cars”. Then tell them an alternative that is acceptable, “you can throw balls not cars”.
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